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June 4, 2014 / Heather

Confidence

Confidence is not something I think about a lot.

Honestly, it’s something I don’t think about at all. I’m not sure. What got me thinking about it was Manda Whitney’s post 30 Sucks. An Apology. I really enjoy Manda’s blog posts and most things she does. She’s a great role model and a really cool person. I have no idea how on Earth I came across her postings and such but I did and I don’t regret it.

Anyway! Manda makes some really good points about confidence and self-image (from my perspective).

I’ve had people come up to me (classmates, friends, and people meeting for the first time) who have said “I wish I had your confidence” or “I wish I was more like you”. No, I’m not bragging. I always tell these people to be themselves. One of my friends in school (I don’t talk with her much and I didn’t hang out with her much, but she’s nice and a good person). She was one of the first who said they wanted my confidence. This puzzled me and we talked about it there at the high school in the cafeteria and I let it out of the bag.

I’m not confident.

I panic. Fairly easily to tell the truth. Someone higher up than me says they want to talk and my mind doesn’t go “I wonder what s/he wants” it goes “oh crap oh crap what did I do wrong? What did I mess up?”. Usually I haven’t made any mistakes (at least not anything big) so I laugh at myself (or kick my own butt) for having panicked like I did, but it’s just who I am.

I do come off as confident though and I know how.

I stand at an average height of somewhere between 5′ 8″ and 5′ 10″ (I’m not certain how tall I really am) and more often than not I carry myself with head held high and not slouching while I walk. I slouch while I’m sitting but that’s a whole other situation. Sometimes I’ll sit straight, but mostly I slouch. Bad for my back, I know, but not the point.

There are times I am confident, but more often than not I’m not very confident. I will question myself and doubt myself, but I am confident in some things.

  • I am confident I will keep writing no matter what
  • I am confident that I will keep getting better
  • I am confident that I will eventually get these whole “schedule” and “organized” things down

People have told me they ‘wish they could write like me’ and whenever someone tells me that I always try to make the point that they have their own style and that I’m still working. The best way to get your style is by doing what it is you do. Drawing, writing, photography, singing, acting. Everything in life takes practice.

For those looking for confidence tips I do have some.

  • Be yourself! No one’s better at being you than you are.
  • Keep trying. If you fall down, get back up again. Don’t get into fights, but don’t let someone tell you you “can’t”.
  • There IS such a thing as try. Trying is working and working is progress.
  • Progress, no matter how little of it there is, is still progress.
  • There’s at least one person out there (other than you) rooting for you, even if you don’t know it.

Anyone else ever gone through the whole “I wish I had your confidence” thing? Any tips to add?

~Heather/Razor

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2 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. manpans / Jun 5 2014 11:28 PM

    I am glad that you are confident :D! We need more confident people out there to be an example 😀

    • Heather / Jun 5 2014 11:40 PM

      I’m not always confident. Far from it. Some days I don’t believe confidence exists.

      How’s the new living area? Surviving more Errol time?

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