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October 8, 2014 / Heather

Body Image

I have been reading a lot of things and browsing Facebook more lately and I realize something.

Body image talk is everywhere. Be it subliminal or not.

I am a heavier woman. I know this, I admit this, and I own this. I was unaware when I was a kid until about 4th or 5th grade and POOF! body image issues after someone had mentioned something.

I was also a tomboy nerd. Yeah. I was one of the guys. Even at nearly 24 it’s hard to wear girly clothes because they don’t usually feel right.

With each year I feel more comfortable with myself and more accepting of who I am.

I am very lucky in that I have friends who don’t care what I look like and even luckier that Catfish loves who I am, even when I’m having those days where I feel so insecure I don’t want to look at anything for fear of something coming up about body image.

Here I am, nearly 24 and still struggling with some things, but getting more comfortable with myself and dating an amazing guy who loves who I am not just how I look. Though sometimes it is nice to turn his head a little.

Find what makes you feel beautiful. For me, it’s sitting in fuzzy pants and either a huge night shirt, a huge tank top, or a camie (I have issues with it kinda). Or if I’m going in public nothing makes me feel better than (in appropriate weather) flip flops, jeans, and a tank top. Seriously, I wore tanks more this year than in the past 5 combined.

Do what makes you feel good. Sing in the shower, dance in the rain.

Embrace yourself. If I stopped writing or being the nerdy geeky person I am than who am I? I am lucky that I have friends who accept my geeky nerdy habits. Even if Catfish doesn’t geek or fan over the same things I do all the time (like Laurell K. Hamilton’s work) he still respects me and let’s me geek and fan out. Sometimes playfully teasing me. I do the same with him.

We are all different. If you can’t be nice to someone or nice enough to not hurt or bully them, then stay away.

Be you, be proud to be you.

I get this way when I’m connecting to a particular character. NaNoWriMo is coming. My birthday is coming. I fear what Catfish is planning… o.o Man knows I don’t like surprises. Peace everyone.

~Heather/Razor

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