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September 30, 2015 / Heather

Public Speaking

I work with the public. I spend a majority of my day talking to people one-on-one, to multiple people. I speak at meetings when I can contribute something to the discussion or when I have something to bring up or demonstrate.

And I’m terrified of public speaking.

The kicker? I was asked to speak at an event being held at my place of work that happens in October on the 14th where I’m going to be talking about NaNoWriMo. Terrified doesn’t begin to cover what I’m feeling.

I used to perform in concert band and I’ve been in choir, but after I graduated high school for some reason I became very frightened of public speaking. Nothing happened to change anything, it’s just something that came on. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m not a part of a group now, or maybe it’s just my personality changing a little. (For those saying it’s the front and center portion, it’s not. When I was in band I was always in the front and usually at the end of the row so people saw me extremely well and being a bigger person I’m easily spotted.)

So why did I say yes to speaking at a public event when I know I’m terrified of public speaking???

Because it’s writing. It’s NaNoWriMo. It’s something I have a deep passion for. It’s something that drives me.

And it’s a chance to expose others to NaNoWriMo and answer questions about it. It’s a chance to spread my love of writing to other people.

I’m absolutely horrified to find out how many people are going to be there because they remember my interview from last November that was in the local paper. I was terrified during that interview. More terrified than most people probably realize. I’m trying to get better because I’ve noticed it’s getting worse. And I don’t like it.

It’s somewhere between needing to find a voice and needing to learn how to use my voice without freezing up now. Wish me luck. For more on the event where I’ll be speaking click here. For more information on NaNoWriMo click here.

Until then, it’s plotting, moving, and planning while listening to the NaNoMusical from 2012. It helped ease my nerves a little. Catfish has been hinting that I’m kind of… Not in these words, but that I become a horrible person during NaNo and I become a little unbearable. I don’t think I change that much. I use more time to write and he gets more time to game and I build up enough buffer that I can take the weekend off without getting too far behind. We’ll see if I can do something like that this year since we’ll be living together by then. At least, we’re hoping. Details are driving me nuts. Wish me luck.

~Heather/Razor

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6 Comments

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  1. Kristi / Sep 30 2015 9:01 PM

    I tend to get giddy around and during NaNoWriMo, especially the last year and this year. I think it’s because lately I’ve been stuck with revision during the rest of the year, and I don’t enjoy it. I love the initial writing, but I don’t have much time for it right now, because otherwise, my first novel will never even have a chance at a future. So when NaNo comes around and I have an excuse to write and push the revision aside for a month…giddy.

    As for the public speaking, I’ll just say I do not envy you and leave it at that.

    • Heather / Sep 30 2015 9:09 PM

      I’m so giddy. Fiance has started teasing me because he knows it’s my thing. He says he loses me for a month and that it’s his game catch up month. His other tease is that I need all the sugary and caffinated things.

      • Kristi / Oct 1 2015 12:30 AM

        When I found out the Huntington Library was going to have write-ins this year and told my husband, he said it was official that he wasn’t going to see me all November. Of course, he knows I’m just as likely to chicken out and not end up going, so I have a feeling he’ll actually push me to at least go once. I can’t use the excuse of all the write-ins being too far away anymore, since I live 5 minutes away from the library.

      • Heather / Oct 1 2015 12:55 AM

        I really want to go to something my region is going, but I’m at work whenever events happen. This year I asked to rearrange my schedule so I could go to write ins that my library/workplace is holding so no excuses. Just gotta hope other people show up now. Last time we did something similar no one showed.
        I’ve asked Catfish (fiance) to hold me accountable and let me know if I get unlike myself. He says I do but I don’t think so. So we’ll see. Kinda nervous about it…

      • Kristi / Oct 1 2015 12:29 PM

        You should tell him to secretly record you if it happens. It’s the only way to know for sure.

      • Heather / Oct 1 2015 1:22 PM

        I think I did tell him that. Should be an interesting November.

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