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August 8, 2018 / Heather

Feeling… Good?

I’m going to start by stating flat out. I have not been well. Mentally and emotionally. I’ve been a mess. Some days I go on auto-pilot and that’s not like me.

The last week has been especially rough. It’s been silent when I need noise and noisy when I need silence. I’ve had people reaching out to me who aren’t the person or people I want to have reaching out to me.

But today…

Today, I feel good!

Why?

This is part of it. I’ve had sleep and caffeine. But that’s not the best of it.

For the first time in probably near 2 months I worked on Unexpected Moments. I had wanted to get this round of revisions done through July for Camp NaNo and I could not do it. I was not in a mental state where I could work.

My job has had some chaos to it and yes, that added to an already high level of stress, but I was able to manage a lot of it, sometimes not in the best ways. There were a couple of nights this week I cried while lying in bed. Cried because I could not handle the thoughts in my head.

I will not vent those thoughts here, this post is about feeling good.

The way Unexpected Moments is printed for my edits has 2 pages side-by-side on a page. This works incredibly well for this story for me. It totals 135 pages.

I finished what I had wanted to be a month of work in one day.

In what was probably 6 hours or so. I don’t know for sure, I didn’t time it. Kind of wish I had!

There is still one piece that is bothering me, but I can do another round of edits. Maybe.

My goal for today was to get all the revisions typed in so I could focus on planning and plotting for NaNo coming in November. I’m excited for it and I want to plan and plot something new. I have an idea for it and it’s going to take more planning and plotting than things I’ve written in the past.

My point is, you won’t always have good days. Or even weeks. Some days and weeks the story you have will be the last thing on your mind or the thing you want to think about least in the world. Writers joke a LOT about how if our story was alive it would beat us or that the story is begging for our attention. But we don’t always remember to find peace with our story.

Sitting down and listening to music while working on my story? Is the most peace I’ve felt in a long time. And damn do I feel good.

~Heather/Razor/Shavor

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